You used to message and FaceTime each other every day. Now, you hardly ever chat. Is your long distance flirtationship about to crash and burn? By Bennett O’Brien
Because of advances in technology like social media and video calls, it’s very easy to meet people who live far away these days. It’s also easy to keep in touch with people who have moved to far off places, almost to the point where you hardly feel the distance at all.While this can vastly improve the quality of long distance relationships, it can also create some interesting situations. One of these situations is the “flirtationship.” The flirtationship is a connection that is more than just friendship or a flirtation, but less than a relationship. Basically, it’s like a long distance flirtation with a very subtle dash of commitment… At least to some extent.
The whole flirtationship thing can be quite vague and ambiguous. You don’t know if you should make demands like a significant other. But you also don’t want to be treated like a friend. It’s frustrating, but it can be exciting, as well. However, as with other relationships, there comes a point when you start to wonder if your little “thing” is headed anywhere at all.
Is your long distance flirtationship about to sink?
When you spot these signs in your flirtationship, it means that your little long distance ‘ship might be struggling to stay afloat.
#1 You partner waits a long time before responding to you. This could be a sign that he or she is losing interest. If they used to respond to you very quickly, and that has slowed down considerably, it’s not a good sign. Flirtationships thrive on interest and enthusiasm. But if the interest and enthusiasm are only coming from you, as evidenced by tardy replies, then it may be time to abandon ‘ship.
#2 They’re starting to sound bored. Once, you would regale your flirtation partner with tales of your day, and no matter how mundane it was, your partner always managed to sound excited just to hear from you. But now, gone are the questions about the minute details of your day, while the inside jokes are becoming fewer and farther in between.
#3 Other people are starting to interest you more and more. Perhaps you weren’t interested in anyone else at the start of your flirtationship. This may have been why you entered into it in the first place. However, if you can’t stop ogling dudes at the bar or checking out the pretty new intern, then it could definitely mean that your interest in flirting through technology is starting to wane.
#4 You are fighting a lot. Fights and arguments are tricky with long distance flings. You can’t just hold your partner or kiss them all of a sudden to settle an issue. No one wants to continuously be fighting with their partner, and if you’re more inclined to just turn your phone off than to settle your argument, then it’s a sign that your interest is declining.
#5 You feel extremely frustrated about the situation. There will always be some hint of frustration in every relationship, but these are usually worked out through communication and hard work. The problem, though, is that when you mostly feel frustrated instead of excited to hear from your partner, then it may be time to call it quits.
#6 You often miscommunicate. The thing with exclusively using technology to communicate is that there’s a lot of room for misunderstanding. Sometimes all you see is a screen with some text, and you don’t know if your partner means what they’re saying or if they’re being sarcastic. Take one word, one story or one expression the wrong way, and it can be an all-out fight!
#7 You don’t frantically check your phone or your computer as much. If you are no longer sprinting to your phone when you hear it buzz, then it’s a sign that whatever else you’re doing holds your interest better than the person who sent you that text. Normally, getting extremely excited every time you check your phone means that you are thrilled at the possibility of talking to the person on the other end.
#8 You no longer care to dress your best for a Skype date. Once, you’d have dolled up or donned your best shirt for a Skype date. You may even set up your room to make it more romantic. But now, you’re fine with wearing a ratty old shirt and relying on an unflattering light to illuminate your face.
#9 The idea of a flirtationship in general is just starting to become less appealing to you. You may start to want exclusivity. You want your partner’s word that there’s only you. This indescribable relationship setup is starting to take its toll on you, and you want your partner to either commit or disconnect.
#10 You stop thinking about the person as much. One of the biggest signs that you’re losing interest in your long distance flirtationship is letting your partner slip out of your mind, to the extent that you might even forget a Skype date or two.
#11 You avoid social media. Avoiding social media in general could be a subconscious attempt to avoid talking to the person. You may be doing this because a part of you is ready to end the flirtationship, but you aren’t fully there yet.
#12 You are starting to ask your friends about their breakups. Doing this could be a way of mentally preparing yourself, and trying to learn from their situations. One of your friends may have gone through a very similar experience, and talking about it with him or her may be providing you with the information you need to get ready for your own breakup.
#13 You are spending a lot more of your free time with your friends. Back then, you’d be quick to cancel plans, when you find out that your flirtationship partner will be free for a Skype call. Now, despite the fact that your partner may be waiting for you online, you’re more inclined to hang out with people you can actually touch.
Flirtationships in itself are a challenge, more so if it’s long distance. The lack of definition in your relationship adds that hint of excitement, but it also gives you a bit of anxiety in knowing that it can all disappear in a snap. If you’re looking for a little more stability than your long distance flirtationship can provide, we’d advise you to either address the issue or just let it go to avoid getting your hopes up.
Combine the challenges of a long distance relationship with the uncertainty of a flirtationship, and you’re just waiting for a headache to happen. When you find that you’re losing interest, no one would blame you, and you’d be better off just calling it quits.
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