You’ve heard the saying, “Actions speak louder than words.” That’s generally true, but there are also some phrases that reveal important information about the person who speaks them.
Sometimes, the words that come out of an individual’s mouth demonstrate attitudes and beliefs that should cause you to tread carefully. These include:
1. “I won’t ever talk about it.” Do you feel barred from certain aspects of this person’s life? If so, you have to wonder what lies behind those walled-off areas.
2. “Let’s get married!” (if said too soon). Under the right circumstances, these are amazing words. But some people hurry the process, perhaps out of insecurity, desperation, or unrealistic expectations about what is needed create an enduring and satisfying union.
3. “Why should I have to explain everything to you?” If your date is defensive or sensitive when you ask simple questions, he or she may be hiding something.
4. “C’mon, it was just a little white lie.” A person’s willingness to lie should serve as a big red alert about his/her character and emotional health.
5. “I’m bored.” Some people need constant action and busyness to feel satisfied. They easily become restless, making it hard to relax in their presence. Another danger: This person may quickly get bored with your relationship.
6. “Can I borrow some money?” Loaning money to a romantic partner is fraught with danger. A request for a loan, at the very least, shows that the person is not conscientious about money management. Be especially wary of anyone asking to borrow money you are chatting with online.
8. “You can trust me—really!” Trustworthy people usually don’t need to proclaim their ability to be trusted. Instead, they demonstrate their reliability through actions, day in and day out.
9. “I’m right, you’re wrong.” A healthy relationship is impossible with someone who insists on always being right and reacts strongly to any suggestion otherwise.
10. “Our relationship is fine the way it is. Why do we need a commitment?” Some people want the best of both worlds—the security of your dating relationship and the freedom to date others.
11. “Well, that was stupid.” If someone puts you down or tries to make you feel inferior, consider this a warning sign of more trouble ahead.
12. “Just do it the way I told you to.” Beware of those who feel the need to take control of every situation and be in charge. In the name of being “helpful,” some people want to micromanage your life.
13. “How could you say that to me? That’s so mean.” This is a red-alert phrase if you have gently and sensitively offered feedback or made a suggestion. People who are hypersensitive to criticism may be insecure or narcissistic.
14. “How can you believe that?” You will feel stifled if your date does not respect your opinions and beliefs.
15. “Don’t you feel lucky to be with me?” Some people exude arrogance and aloofness, sending the signal that you’re fortunate to be in their presence. A relationship can thrive only when BOTH partners feel grateful and blessed to be together.
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